Autumn is officially here..

Oh trust me on this...autumn is here.

After weeks and weeks of intense heat, yesterday it drizzled in Southern California. And as soon as the first droplets started falling I headed home - let's face it Californians do not know how to drive in the rain. And last night it was cool night breeze that was blowing the drapes in my bedroom. I slept a slumber night. It felt good.

As my goodbye to summer or '09, I celebrated with a very nice cold Sapporo beer - now that was a delight. And I had with that a pollo asado torta - with guacamole and lettuce. Delightful and delicious dinner. I think I licked my lips twice and my fingers once. It was good to say goodbye to summer.

And autumn had a nice start. Time to change wardrobe, as always. But let it be said that I am one of those who even in the dead cold of winter I am walk around with open- toed sandals.

Autumn means leaves will start falling soon and the trees will change color, always a spectacular sight. And then Halloween will come ...the holidays are just around the corner. And this year I choose to be the happiest I have ever been during these time of year. I have almost forgotten how much fun I used to have during the months of October all the way to December.

It will be the best months of 2009 yet.

Autumn a time of change and I welcome that.

I too believe....Happiness is a Choice

I have been "recovering" these last week or so from an incident that had brought me deep sadness.

Allow me to give you an insight on why it is taking me longer to get over this particular incident - I believe I was misjudged. Not for what I had said but for what I was perceived to have meant with what was said. There lies the agony of where my heart hopes to hurdle and get past.

Things have been said and could never be taken back. Where scars used to be, now new wounds take their place.

Now it brings me to this post...I believe Happiness is a Choice. And I declare that I do not believe in happy endings, not anymore. I just work on having as many happy days as I can. I strive to surround myself with the love that is not there to measure or judge me for what is perceived to be my shortcomings bu judge me (if it really needs to be done) for what I really am, for what I really say and what I really mean with what I say.

Simple really yet very profound, Happiness is a choice.

And as much as I choose to be happy, sometimes I have to be part of other's unhappiness, unfortunately by association.

And sometimes, I too suffer because of other's unhappiness -misery loves company as they say.

But I keep telling my self, the choice is mine and I should not loose focus on that. And I take that choice. I want to be happy, simple happiness. No agony and no heartbreaking misjudgements. There is nothing worst than telling another person how short they came to one's expectation; or so I thought - until it happened to me, and there is indeed a worst part to that - is that for a short period of time I believed it. That deepened my sadness.

I will keep on working on just having happy and very good days. Happy endings are just what fairytales say at the end to nicely tie the story in a neat and pretty bow. In real life, dog eat dog. It is tough making it here and sometimes, I just have to take a very deep sigh, exhale and make the resolution that those who choose to be unhappy are people that are not for me. I choose to be happy.

I could not avoid being unhappy at times, but as a rule, I will not let unhappiness be the norm of me anymore.

The best thing about being single is, you have to take stock of yourself and do it on your own. No one is expecting anything from me. I need not excel for others, I have to excel only for me. If I can look at myself in the mirror every morning without shame, I know I am a decent person. Misjudged or not - my conscience is clean, I can live with that.

If other's expectation of me are not met, maybe they were not clear to me or to them from the very beginning. Cannot do anything about that.

To be misjudged is the most hurtful thing a sane person can undergo. It is agonizing to even attempt to explain oneself. Sometimes, we just close doors and pretend somethings never happened but deep down it is still there. i still hurts.

People grow distant and cold, and it is not because of no reason, there is a reason. We just have to know our part in it. And sometimes, we grow past it. Other times, we grow further apart because of it. No happy endings, like I said.

Just another happy day for me, and so far that has been enough to get me through. Tough but I'll live. Happiness is a choice.

My latest post

I will take a few more days off from blogging. I am just so weary of having to apologize and being sorry all the time, and rather than posting a long rant and rave about how I feel here. I will try to snap myself out of it before I blog ever again.

Best of luck of everyone out there.

Another day will be fading out for now.

Why...

• do we think that keeping silent is a sure way of telling someone something?
• do people say it has to be broken to be fixed?
• do cracks count as being broken?
• do we always say - look at it from my point of view?
• does it take a moment of anger for us to reveal the truth?
• do we seek perfection on things we cannot control?
• do we think we have to hear an apology in order to forgive or be forgiven?
• do we think with our hearts and not with our minds?
• do our feelings get in the way of thinking rationally?
• do we need to explain if we are misunderstood?
• do we think that there is an answer/solution to every question/problem out there?

It is OK....

• to have 15 different color nail polishes and still stick to your go-to fave.. Passion Mango.
• to just let a day go by and never take a second to look at the clock.
• to wink back when someone winks at you. Politeness counts.
• to share a makeup secret/tip when someone asks for it.
• that everything is not about you, not about me, but not about you.
• to paint your lips red in a gesture of defiance.
• to be a little more tolerant to those who do not understand the reason behind Obama's determination to get USA (Americans) healthcare coverage - every single one of those that qualify.
• to just shut the world out one day a year (two if you really need the extra day).
• tell a friend you are sorry (and mean it) for not planning that lunch she so look forward to having with you.
• to think why and how we want to save another person from going through what we had undergone and didn't like. It's called compassion, I think.
• just to let go of bad feelings. Its weighty to be carrying that junk around.

Today was indeed a much better day than yesterday. For I chose to do just what I needed to have done. That usually works mighty fine for me.

Good weather is slated for the weekend, enjoy.

Neither here nor there....

Today was one of the most horrible days I have ever had in a very long time.

Waiting for the Fedex delivery that was to have arrived at 10:30am, did not go as well as expected, and that is putting it mildly. There has been a decline in Fedex service and I can say that it has been declining both in punctuality in delivery and customer service in general. Had I not called at 12:20 pm to ask where the package is , no one had bothered to call the very number we are all required to give when we send a package. How aggravating is that! And that is not the problem - I get the mockameme excuse of the weather in Memphis Tenn. , look like I care. So I listen to the poor shmuck assigned to pick up the phone and answer my call - I give you I was courteous all this time. So I wait - and I said can wait for a couple more hours since I was advised that because of the delay the 10:30am delivery MAYBE delivered before 7 in the "afternoon", okeey...or the latest I was told was going to be TOMORROW - how splendid is that, huh? Needless to say I have been religiously tracking the package online...you know at FEDEXscrewmeover.com....and WHAM! at 1:40pm they said (per the driver) that he tried to deliver and NO ONE was home. That was when steam started coming off my eyes and I can feel blood rushing to my cheeks and head. I was now mad! This is war!

I called the 1800-FEDEXplsscrewmeagain number and was still trying to be sarcastically calm (honey vs vinegar methaphor came to mind) and I went on like an AK47! It was okay for the weather delay , nothing we can do about that - BUT to LIE and say that I was not waiting for the package - hey-dipstick - I was in front of the building waiting for that freakin' truck to pull up - no one did -so do not lie to me. .I lost it. It is totally unacceptable to have me sit and wait for 6hrs but to lie about me doing it -now that is just nasty, and I did not put up with it, and never will. Nobody messes with me when it comes to the real truth because I will not put up with that crappola!

I wanted that driver to comeback and redeliver the package.

I tried to calm myself down and when the driver showed up - I almost skinned him alive. I told him he lied and that I am not putting up with that. All the four letter words I know came spewing out and I believe that told him exactly how mad I was.

I would not want to experience this again. And Fedex always does this. Late deliveries (happened to me also last year around February) and drivers that lie about making the attempts to deliver. I puked my guts out after the incident, I was so upset. Just not worth it, the aggravation, the we-do-not-care attitude was stressing me out. My back is in knots and I am still light headed.
And where do I give my customer satisfaction report - they know exactly where they can stuff that - exactly where the sun will never shine - for when that driver was standing there in front of me lying through his teeth, I was so tempted to stick my foot up his arse...but I thought he was not worth dirtying my 3 dollar flip-flops! Scumbag! FEDEX can just take their business and shove it up their.....you get the idea.

One day of my life I will never get back. And when you get to be old like me a nice day wasted waiting for the FEDEX guy to do what you pay them to do, is well, a day lost.

There is justice in this world and they will get their just dessert.

thank you for listening and if you have a choice do not use FEDEX - there are other options UPS, DHL, anything but the FEDEX aka FEDUP!

Can we talk?

There is something that I need to ask...Can we talk?

Is it September...already?!

Time does go by so quickly. I can still vividly recalling the very day I tried to put up the 2009 Christmas tree in Argentina and now....in a couple of months I will be putting up another tree for Xmas '09 - phew!

Loving the line from "Ferris Beuller's Day Off " movie - I dare not blink because I do not want life to pass me by. (Wonderful movie about growing up, btw.)

It is hellishly hot and excruciatingly humid in California these last several weeks. There is the Big Fire up north and the monsoon typhoons down the coast of Baja, August was dry but September in California (Southern) has always been dry (no rain), such a combustible combination for wildfires. We hope not!

On a lighter note (trying to see the positive in all these negatives), a nice bottle of my newly discovered Canadian brew is just the key to quench my evening thirst, one bottle only a day, none on the weekends.

Mexican food (carnitas with flour tortilla and guac sauce/sour cream, or 2 beef tacos with real mexican rice) is just what I recommend with this brew. Yummy! Glug-glug, Gulp!

I also found a nice cold drink - Mucho Mango - another thirst quencher.

Do not get me started on the ice cream, please. Ben and Jerry's came out with loads of new summer flavor as well, but so far I have been re-acquainting myself with the classics only. A small bowl after a nice dinner, is just the ticket to cool off before going to bed.

I try to do all my errands early morning or late afternoon, it is all about timing ya know. My attempt to avoid intense dizzying heat everyday.

September - I am starting to like it already. I think in a few days Labor Day will be here and you know what that means - SALES at the mall!!

I am liking this month more and more. No point in suffering the heat, I am thinking if I go out often enough, my tan will be perfect by the time Halloween gets around. And who doesn't want that?

September is here - and it will only bearound for 27 more days. And then November will be here...don't even get me talking about November....

For now and today, it is another day, and that is the way we like it - one day at a time.

Take care