Forgiveness...

"Forgiveness Formula" by Kathleen Griffin, is presently a book I am reading.. well, it is more like a workbook, really.

I highly recommend it to anyone who has taken or has made the first step in recognizing that one is ready to "Let go of the pain and move on with Life". Forgive so to speak.

Let me list some of the lessons and meanings that I have understood about Forgiveness so far. It hits you right on the very core of why, how and when forgiveness is totally complete...and the heavy weight will surely be lifted, body and spirit. I have been working on what I need to do for the last few days. And, for all intents and purposes, I have been happier.

•  Your past/hurt does not have to define your future.
•  You choose to forgive. It can be difficult and painful but it is a choice.
•  It does not mean that you forget what was done to you. Heal is the word.
• Forgive the behavior but do not let yourself be exploited again.
• You have to learn the lesson from what happened to you.
• The process takes time and there is no hurry. This is a process and it takes the time it takes.
• Accept that what happened to you, really did happen.
• Never compartmentalize "before" and "after". Things will be different. You are different now.
• When you forgive, the whole landscape will change.
• You can only change you - those that had done you wrong has nothing to do with your forgiveness process.
• There will always be someone to forgive. The better you get at it, the easier life will be.
• The scar of each time you forgive is a reminder so you will not forget.
• Half the battle is learning to forgive yourself. Healing starts there.
• It is never too late to forgive.
• Pride is what keeps you on top of a mountain "of always being right". It is lonely up there.
• Forgiveness is never about them, it's about you. But what they did to hurt you may have nothing to do with you at all - Forgiveness Paradox.
• The story may not end with " happily ever after" but you can start with a new... "Once upon a time.."
• Remember the Lord's Prayer..Forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us..
• One of the most sublime enjoyment in life is to forgive an enemy.
• The final form of love is forgiveness.
• When you know better, you do better. _ by Maya Angelou
• Life is a constant journey of forgiveness.

I am still a work in progress. But each passing day with the help of this book, it makes the process understandable, doable and bearable. I make a point to do and be the improvement I want to see in the world around me. It is not easy but each baby step I take, I know I create a better world for those around me. And that is always good.

One day, very soon, I aspire to utter the words.."I choose to forgive..it stops here. Now. With me."

With that, I can truly say, I have moved on and have chosen a better path to happiness. No desire for justice, punishment or revenge.

Stronger and better. In the end, I will choose to be the victor. Life is a plethora and spectrum of colors that to get stuck in one color is such a waste..and I choose to be alive rather than just living.

Again, I recommend the book. You are not alone in your search for forgiveness for those you love and care about. Pick up the book and see what wonders it can do for you. It is helping me and thus, I am spreading the Kathleen Griffin "Forgiveness Formula" word.

Another day...the sun is up, it is a Friday, the 20th, smile and spread it around!



That that is, is. That is not, is not. Is that it? It is.

Ambiguity and the importance of correct placement of punctuation.

As always, I go to my blog when I need to get something off my chest. I have been good at being ambigious when I post here. I try to be specific when I can without compromising my privacy or divulging too much of who and where I am.

Today, is no exception. I am having one of those "it started just right and turned into a WTF day!".

I am not sure what is being said to me indirectly but somehow I did not feel right about a comment or to be specific a comparison made to me. Have you heard of a left-handed compliment? I got one of those! Not nice.

Of course, I am offended. There I said it. And honestly, after being so good, there is just no doing right on this one. Damn if you do, damned if you don't, kinda thing.

It can get pretty exhausting like I said. And exhaustion nears me. Maybe I am over extending my welcome and there is something that is being said to me that I do not quite get? Or hear? Let me ponder on that for a second or two.

It ruins my Saturday. Simply put. I try, I really try. But again, there is just no doing right on my part. Maybe I am too sensitive. Or, I read too much to anything said to me. Remember, I am still in the "I am not quite there yet" stage. And WHAM!! Another one. Phew!

I think I should just harden my heart and swallow my tears. Let these comments glide off my back. Devil may care. Why should I care too much, right? I always double think about what I want to say before saying anything in the hopes of avoiding any miscommunication or misinterpretation on the receiver's part. But it seems like - I am the only one doing that. again, my fault. I care too much. Maybe it is about time, I shouldn't. It might go against my nature but I can always try it to see how it fits me. I would never know what it is to just speak freely and explain what I mean later. By later, I mean, when one person has already been offended or has misinterpreted what "I was really trying to say".

Ambiguity. Being vague, has its plus side. I just do not know how to use it to my best interest. I should learn and get better at it, I know. Sometimes, being too careful in what I say leaves me without spontaneity and lack of rough edges. No shock value.

The left-handed comment offended me, you bet your socks!! And knowing me I tried to get it out in the open and talk about it. Did me no good. Again, harden my heart and swallow my tears.

I get pissed off when I try to be good, be good-natured and someone tries to push the envelope on me. Don't you?

I have a lot to learn and I am willing to change character. I cannot survive in this dog eat dog world by wearing my heart on my sleeves. I need to get to the nitty-gritty of things and get into the trenches. I have to stand up for myself.

No one should give a left-handed comment and get away with it. People treat you the way they treat you, though badly, only with your permission. And no permission was given here, implicit nor implied. I know, the piper has to pay sooner or later. Punctuation needs to be placed on its proper location.

Pardon my specificality on this matter, enough of being goody two shoes. Harden my heart and swallow my tears. Right. Got that.

That that is, is. That is not, is not. Is that it? It is!

A trip down memory lane..

Photos, photos and more photos.

Now what do we do without them and what do we do with them, right?

Loads of things have happened to me spring of 2012 and more are happening summer of 2012, and what better way to remember everything than capturing them in pictures, right? Exactly! That is just what I have been doing all spring and just a few weeks into summer. Taking pictures...and loving it!!!

I take photos of places, people, food I eat, shoes, shopping hauls, etcetera.....

I post them everywhere. I send them via emails to make my Sister jealous of the tiramisu I ate for dessert or the dish of sushi I had for lunch or the Thai restaurant that R and I went to, etc.

 Now I have memory cards and USBs loaded with a gazillion of pictures. So today, I went to the nearest photo processing place and printed the "suckers"! Hahaha.. I nearly fainted when I counted and saw the nice (together with some horrendous) photos I have taken. I remember the places (of course), how the food tasted, nostalgia came over me on some of the people in there, years they happened, names of people I met, but most especially it brings back memories, good and bad - I love them all!

The technology might have changed significantly on how we keep our photos and memories but it is still the same as it was when it comes to feelings. Black or white, white and brown or crystal clear colored photos - you still feel what you feel and remember. I also notice how I keep saying "Oh, I forgot about this.." but again it brings everything back into focus after a second or two and it all comes back to me..I love reminiscing the good ol' days.

Pictures do tell a story and they say it in so many words for others or just one for some.

I have a stack of photos, by golly! I will share them now and I am getting into album-making and even dare venture into scrapbooking..funny, how I never thought I would be doing this but with the pictures I have it would be waste not to share them with loved ones. And, presentation is everything. I am making a mini-scrap book for my Sister, so she can never forget how great I am to her!

I have a Herculean task ahead of me but I love a challenge, especially my trip to Amsterdam photos! I have stuff (receipts, stubs, tickets, postcards, Belgian chocolate wrappers, etc.) from that trip that I plan to incorporate in my planned scrapbook. Just thinking about it overwhelms me but "full speed ahead, damn the torpedos!'..Hahahaha..

I will share some of my progress here, of course, just give this old gal time..

So start digging for your own old photos and start saving them in albums. Make sure you use acid free papers and 3M glue to get you going in the right direction and one day, you give them to the ones you love so they can see how terrible your hair was in high school, how long your nails were in college and how big you were in your 30s and how much slimmer you are now! They will remember you and thank you for the effort, trust me on this one.

If you take the time, you will be forever remembered kindly for taking the time and the effort. Oh and those baby pictures of your children put captions on them for what better way to embarrass them in the future when they think you can't hear them talk about you, when you have those baby pictures showing them all covered with chocolate or worst, in diapers!!

Have fun with it. And as always, take lots of photos in any occassion. Make sure your camera's battery is always charged and with memory cards plugged in and snap away.

You will thank me later. Have fun picture taking.

Have a great Fourth of July 2012, everyone!!

Lemons...

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" 

Ever wonder what to do when you get a bunch of lemons that you would not know what to do with them. It seems such a waste to just toss them in the trash. Right? Well, read on...

Sometimes when I overthink things it is bound to make my day, well, sour!

I have recently came to think that if life and certain days feel like lemons, I should make a "killer lemon" cake, pucker up and sour as it may be, I should say "amazing!"

And lemon cakes usually taste a whole lot better when enjoyed with a nice cup of java and amongst friends. Good company with good stories, make the sourness go away. Funny, how most of my bad days I always relate with food. I think of something that will hold back my bad feeling and usually food can do that..comfort, I presume.

This picture is an old photo taken awhile back and I came across it yesterday. It is a cake split in half, then the center is filled with lemon custard and topped with light whip. It was good, but being lemon in flavor was still sour..what did you expect?! Sweet? Duh!

Again, when life gives you lemon, make a killer lemon cake, pucker up and say - AMAZING.

Have a great weekend everyone.