I beg to differ - Part I

I like the people in BsAs (Buenos Aires), I think I have said that numerous times on this blog. I have grown to like the places in BsAs as well. I am learning my way around the labyrinth of one- way streets, intersections, dead end streets and streets changing names past a major intersection and I like the charm of it all.

The person that I care so deeply about is a porteno, and I am here because of him. No other reason but him, not the tango, not the real estate, not the empanada, not the shopping, not the Patagonia, not the beef, not the wine or anything like that, I am here because of my porteno.

We have an established and blended family life together, and our integrated family spans continents and homes. My coming here was a well-contemplated move on my part. My "R" is here and thus so I should be, he knows my being here is a big sacrfice for me and his telling me that he knows that fact makes me love him even more. I am under no grand illusion that my displacing my life to Argentina will be easy, nor was it a great stroke of luck because for one I am struggling with the castellano part, but that does not deter me from having the best time of my life here in Buenos Aires. I am willing to learn and learn fast on how to make myself happy in a totally new environment for me, I do all these because of love.

What I cannot stand are those irritating, garapinadad blogs glorifying Buenos Aires when we know that there are "stuff" that requires us to take off our rose colored glasses and see a spade and call it a spade. People in blogs who talk about what magnificent it all is and all that - pulleezzz - I have seen the good and appreciate them because I have seen the bad as well. Please people who blog about Buenos Aires and just paint this fantabulous picture - DO NOT INSULT my intelligence by telling me that all is well in paradise, it is not! You know you are telling the untruth if you tell me otherwise, let me say inflation at 25%, the chaotic fast and hellish drivers of PanAmericana, bellowing blasck smoke from buses,etc. I see poor people begging, I see bad drivers, I see hungry kids eating out of garbage cans at night when they collect los cartones on my street - there is nothing romantic about that, now is there - SO I BEG TO DIFFER when bloggers blog and sugar coated the BsAs that is not; do not get me wrong - I love my house here, I love every second I am with my "R" here, trust me no amount of money can replace those precious moments but please do not tell me that all is well her in BsAs otherwise we would not hear people crabbing about how it is so bad in here politics,government, food prices sky-rocketing because I too have travelled to several places and even to my own 3rd world homeland and have seen poverty, hunger and pain - I call it like I see it. Do not take those observations from me because they are part of my experience and in a way it endears those people to me, knowing I am in love with a porteno, an Argentinian and I love him because of what he is and not mainly who he is - he is a self made man and that alone has no color, creed or religion and obviously no nationality that dictates what he should be, he defines himself and does not let his origin define him. I love that about him.

And God forbid you make a comment in one of these blogs and say something slighty negative and WHAM! - they give you the - you do not like it here - "you go home" one-liners. I mean geez - what is with the not being able to take a negative but accurate observation comment huh? Is that now against the law? Or it that the infamous ego we so rampantly hear about?

I am a blogger and I like to look at things in BsAs and comment on them. You do not like it - well, tough! And for those who do not like what I say (just like what I am doing to those blog that I BEG TO DIFFER with) they too should write their own blog and rag about me. I am not solely dedicated to saying negative things about BsAs but should I see something positive in the next day or so I will surely let you know! Deal? Deal!

An acquired taste..

So...5 days into my being in Buenos Aires and I have preliminarily decided (have been numerous times before) that learning to love BsAs (being an "un-native") is like liking bleu cheese - it is an acquired taste. OK, so some people like it right away, and others swear it off right off the bat; while others who are more on the undecisive side from the onset will most likely learn to love it more - it kindda grows on you.

I am a city girl - given but I like the countrysides as well, especially in Argentina. The city is where the life is but sometimes it is also good to seek and quest for some Zen. Sometimes even this city girl needs to hear myself think or at least hear my heartbeat at night and not just feel it.

Well, I digress - back to the acquired taste part of this all. I am an "un-native" and I find that for the first time in my several trips in the past the prospect of completing a home (decor-wise) is putting a very positive energy and spin to my whole taste to the place. I could finally see myself living part in the country and part in the city. And why not? I can have the best of both worlds. I mean it is not a cut here or there - make a choice kindda thing, right? And I like that - it keeps in theme with my positive line of thinking and sustains my positive energy all around.

In the city, I feel like the movement outside keeps me going in the countryside, it is mostly peace and quiet - I mean I like it - please do not get me wrong but after awhile it can get a sane person insane with all that quietness. There are people who live for that _ and I salute them for it but it is just not me to be all ZEN all the (pardon my french here - fr*&kin') time.

I get nervous with the commute from the countryside into BsAs but it is something that I will have to deal with in the near future and I am sure after having driven in the my motherland - is a great preparation to driving here.

BsAs is not Argentina, I found that out this last 5 days. Really after being out of the city for a few days BsAs is alive but I look forward to being a part of both parts Capital Federal and the quaint city 50some odd kilometers north.

And as for that bleu cheese analogy - I like it and I think there is hope for me yet - now if I can only freakin' learn the language I would really be head over heels in love here. But - there is hope...

In the meantime, try the bleu chees - you will surprised what it can do for you.

Ciao, 'til next time.

One foot in front of the other....

It is a Tuesday and first thing tomorrow morning I will get ready to head to Buenos Aires; it is my firm belief that traveling is merely putting one foot in front of the other, literally. Regardless of distance, I believe the mechanics of getting there is this and will always be the same (time travel is for another day). I am looking forward to this trip. It has been months since I was last in Buenos Aires, I even missed all the smoke commotion - oh well. I travel not in search of myself, I am not that deep, but to give myself what I would otherwise not get/find where I was last, point of origin.

I will miss California for a few months, but again I miss everything from the last place (wherever that might have been) I was a few weeks ago. I am easily attached to the people mostly, I can really care less about the geographics but the people I miss terribly. I do not like to leave people behind, I want my whole tribe traveling with me - NOT POSSIBLE!

So here I am with bags packed, passports and all the usual trinkets I travel with - en route to BsAs. My next post will be from there - winter time there now unlike the prospect of summer here in California. Oh well.

I will miss some things I really like to do in California and the freedom to drive in a place where mostly cars 99.999% of the time stay within their lanes. You probably do not have any idea why I am saying this but come to Argentina and you will know what I mean. :-) I for one do not like surprises and basically I am just accepting this as a fact when I am there - terrifying but fact nonetheless. But there are lots of things to do and more to do to occupy my time and attention.

Buenos Aires is a nice big city but the countryside is to die for - that I really look forward to having once again - the silence and the serenity - it beats any loud corner any day.

I will re-acquaint myself with the streets, the language and the faces that I had grown to like and would meet everyday. I like that.

I am not delusional to say that BsAs is the best for me, the language is a real sticky point for me, but I willing to apply myself and learn just to for to say the least better myself. I am not doing for another person, I really would like to know the language.

Some people will ram the idea of perfection down my throat on some threads I have read - but you know if you are happy in any place, I am deliriously happy that you are happy; but please do not tell me how I should feel because only I can tell you what and how I feel about any place, food or people. I like it that most people I have met in BsAs that are english speaking like BsAs but I also like to hear people say how they are unhappy there - it keeps things REAL. And believe me, I like REAL things and especially people that is why when I travel I do not count the 20th step I would take but the step that follow the first, one foot in front of the other - -

Ciao. C U in BsAs.

April 2008

It is the 17th day of April 2008, I love spring in California.

It has been paradise-like here in the last several days. The weather is glorious and just about everything is great. I guess, I see it that way for in a week or so I will be headed to Buenos Aires and will have a second try at making things work for me down there. I like BsAs for all the great thing that it has to offer, and I am excited in learning the language more this time - I am hoping in finding the right teacher for me. I also look forward to being there for my "R" in finally putting the finishing touches to a project long over due ( understatement of the year!).

There is also the fact that I am going to be seeing a dentist there - more affordable than if I had gone to one in the USA. I know that the dentist will be much more inexpensive and with my limited spanish would be able to convey my desire to do some major work on the life long gaps I have in my dental work (it is as bad as it sounds- not wearing those retainers after a major ortho work is a big NO NO!!).

And I am excited to get Medical coverage once again. Needs no explanation there.

And I look forward to finally knowing some of my neighbors; I know some people do not care for knowing their neighbors but I am hoping at least to know a few of them.

I am not intimidated by the prospect of inflation, higher cost of everything - I want to go back with a positive attitude and a frame of mind. I want this to work for me. I like the smell of spring - it spells a lot of promise and I want to be able to make "R" happy with my presence there.

It will be tough but I am willing to try. Things we would do for the ones we love - priceless really.

Keeping in touch...

Fresh out of the Holiday Season's people tend to tell you.."Keep in touch!".

But what does that really mean? And to what degree are you expected to fulfill that request?

I had caught myself saying that a couple of times this Christmas - OK, well 6 times really. But I was just wondering if by my saying that to the other person it shifts the responsibility to "keep in touch" on the square shoulder of that other person, to keep in touch with me I mean. No, I mean not that I would plan to pick up the phone, send an email, postage a postcard, mail a letter, all that mushy stuff to stay in touch. Really! What does this phrase connote? Let me check...

I like people, all people during the holidays, but to call me up and say I have a moment here and there and visit with me - I mean I have other things to do that very moment, maybe or maybe not. Is it the likelihood of their bad timing, that I do not like? It is almost like an imposition when you request someone to stay in touch with you. Just thinking how we miss our old acquaintances but there is too much expectations (goes with disappointments) that is invested in relationships with people that you do not live with.

I have friends that I really do not mind, picking up the phone to call, sending a text message, sending an email..but there are those that are just..well...to say it mildly ...a chore to keep up with. I guess, I can categorize those that I do not feel joy in trying to contact, but there are those that I only get to speak with once every year and we are both happy with that --a courtesy contact, you might call it. There are those that EXPECT too much from another because of association - you are affiliated and friends only because that person knows your boyfriend or wife and thus by default you have to keep up appearances. I hate that, don't you?

The ones that are genuinely a pleasure for me to keep in touch with are those that know exactly what and where they stand in the order of importance and their relevance to my life right now. I am a more of a NOW person, I like to take a glimpse to the future but I like just the thought of living for the moment. I think as I started to get older, I like the NOW rather than holding on to a past and planning too much for the future. NOW is so short of a time period that to think back or looking too much in the future or forward, is missing the PRESENT.

People are different and I see that what means a lot to me, does not mean anything to another. And I respect that. So I would make it a point not to say "Keep in touch" anymore from this point on. If they call me, fine, if not, it is fine as well. And I hope they will accord me the same courtesy and rule. There.

I have kept in touch with people all through the years even with the ones going back to the very ones I had forged a relationship with since I was 4 years old, but sometimes we are all in different levels in our lives and careers that we take a glimpse of the past and smile, and we move on...and acquaintances and friends sometimes get forgotten in that process of moving on..

I kind of like that ..keeping in touch within the bounds of relevance to each other's life. And the rest is just clutter...and I hate clutter...don't you?

First day of 2008...an open confession

First day of each year is a great way start anew. I like 2008 already, it is a nice round number and we get an extra day in February. Love it.

I do not do New Year's resolution.

Hopefully, I would get to spend more time with my "R" this year than last.

For my "M", I pray that he gets to start his journey this year towards fulfilling his dream.

To the first person who said, "No one really goes back home" thank you. I have pondered those words and they really are true. Everything changes with time, and nothing ever remains the same.

I am thankful for all the songs whose lyrics I now know, now I can sing along when they come on the radio.

I am looking forward to making all those new friends that I have not yet met.

I will really try to work hard in learning and remembering my spanish words and vocabulary.

In advance, I would like to apologize for all those people whose birthday I will forget, it seems at each year the number of people who birthday I forget increases as my age (ahem) increases.

The thought of going earth friendly really appeals to me, that is a MUST project for me.

I promise my friends from years past that I will keep in touch with them. One email every year does not count as keeping in touch.

I am unable to cut down on coffee so I gave us soda 4 years ago. I think I was born to drink coffee and I love it. Really.

To my very close BFFs I will try to be more updating on where I will be at a given time of the year. Sometimes I just forget to tell you that I am going on a 3, 4 or 5 month trip ..sorry.

Try to figure out how to be in 2 (or 3) places at the same time.

Not to forget that Perfection is an expectation and not an end result.

That I can survive intense disappointments, sorrow and sadness .

My quest is not for ultimate happiness ( I do not know what that is) but that I be fulfilled and content.

Self-sacrifice is most meaningful when done out of love .

Growing old gracefully, there is no such thing.

My list goes on and on...but most of all 2007 was a learning experience of my life. I look forward to 2008, this will be the best yet and I can feel the nice breeze it will bring to me this time..but again I say that every year...