Wanting what you get and Getting what you want

I would like to think that I am an independent being and that my mind rules over any irrational emotions I might have - towards a person, event, issue or idea. But lately I have been battling the expectations and unexpecteds in my life.

I do not mince words, for I believe life is so short to talk in codes and risk not being understood. For people to know what I want, I tell them. And for my expectations, I do the same. I get it all out and lay my cards on the table and let the pieces fall where it may. And I had always hoped that wanting something is an human character design flaw. We set ourselves up for failure if our wants are not met, even if we work hard to avoid failure sometimes preventing to fail takes so much of our energy we forget to put some more of that spent energy into making it succeed. Most of the time, what I want and what I get are 2 different things, but other times, they are zen.

The otherside to the proverbial coin, is that sometimes, I also get what I do not want. Now that is always a doozie. I get all worked up about things that come my way that I really try to avoid since I do not want them - yet I end up with them.

Case in point - a relationship woe is something no one wants, yet it tends to just creep up on you and may or maybe some of my own vison tunnel syndrome that I might have called up it myself. I hate misunderstandings with loved ones, but it happens. When you throw in humans in a mix, something bound to give and fall apart.

But above all these gloomy side of wants and gets, I like to think that when the unexpected and the unwanted come my way, those are the trying times but those are the times that allows me to grow and seeks to better define who I am and my relations to others.

It is good to want something, it keeps me motivated to work harder. And when I get what I want - I am very grateful and I give back. When I get something I do not want - I take the lumps with the gravy and dust myself off, wipe the tears and after a deep sigh, I nod my head and say - I have learned something here and then - never look back. For from that point on, I am a better person and capable of better love to others. And in the end that is all what we want and that is what we wish to get and give.