The long and short of it

The long version of it is that - what I went through just recently, I would not wish on my worst enemy. The short of it is that - there was no short version of it.

My recent ordeal was a direct result of injured pride and for the most part just the inability of 2 people who care deeply about each other to - you guessed it - to communicate.

People use that phrase - what we need here is to better communicate- may have been something corny and silly to most (me included) but when it is a factor in the beginning of the collapse of a very loving relationship - it takes on a deeper meaning. I am a testament to that.

I am exhausted everytime I had to even think about what a harrowing experience it was for me to go through. My heart was broken and though it will never be the same as it was before - I have learned alot about myself and R and our relationship. That is the long of it.

The short of it - is that - as hope springs eternal - so does devotion to a remarkable relationship. Being on the road to recovery will take alot more effort and time, but like anything of great importance and value - one should never take for granted and neglect the 2 basic ingredients in any relationship. You have 2 people and each one is themself and then you have the unit (2gether), it will need constant attention and work. Never to take each one for granted and any ill feelings will need to be addressed before the night is over. Never go to sleep mad.

There are certain personal issues that I have to deal with myself because there are things I will need to change, as I am sure R has to as well. The experience took us to a dark place and we both were in pain. Again the relationship was suffering and any ill feeling toward each other was just a symptom of a deeper issue that was trying to surface.

And for weeks there was no resolution in sight, it was starting to get scary and the sound of finality on all our conversations was depressing.

One day I hope what I have learned during a heartache I can verbalize because all the time I was in agony, I went to church and prayed hard I did.

And somewhere way out yonder, someone heard my cry for help because I have been given the chance to better myself and better the relationship I am in now. And for whomever it was that had put in a good word for me to ease my heart's pain - thank you.

I feel differently today as I did 3 weeks ago or so, I just do not know what really had changed in me, but my mind is clearer, my heart is lighter and there is a gait in my step again. I ask not why but - why not! I like what I feel now and that is just the short of it - all in all.

For all of you who stood by me during those bad times - I am thankful.

R, thank you.

See you all another day.