Keeping in touch...

Fresh out of the Holiday Season's people tend to tell you.."Keep in touch!".

But what does that really mean? And to what degree are you expected to fulfill that request?

I had caught myself saying that a couple of times this Christmas - OK, well 6 times really. But I was just wondering if by my saying that to the other person it shifts the responsibility to "keep in touch" on the square shoulder of that other person, to keep in touch with me I mean. No, I mean not that I would plan to pick up the phone, send an email, postage a postcard, mail a letter, all that mushy stuff to stay in touch. Really! What does this phrase connote? Let me check...

I like people, all people during the holidays, but to call me up and say I have a moment here and there and visit with me - I mean I have other things to do that very moment, maybe or maybe not. Is it the likelihood of their bad timing, that I do not like? It is almost like an imposition when you request someone to stay in touch with you. Just thinking how we miss our old acquaintances but there is too much expectations (goes with disappointments) that is invested in relationships with people that you do not live with.

I have friends that I really do not mind, picking up the phone to call, sending a text message, sending an email..but there are those that are just..well...to say it mildly ...a chore to keep up with. I guess, I can categorize those that I do not feel joy in trying to contact, but there are those that I only get to speak with once every year and we are both happy with that --a courtesy contact, you might call it. There are those that EXPECT too much from another because of association - you are affiliated and friends only because that person knows your boyfriend or wife and thus by default you have to keep up appearances. I hate that, don't you?

The ones that are genuinely a pleasure for me to keep in touch with are those that know exactly what and where they stand in the order of importance and their relevance to my life right now. I am a more of a NOW person, I like to take a glimpse to the future but I like just the thought of living for the moment. I think as I started to get older, I like the NOW rather than holding on to a past and planning too much for the future. NOW is so short of a time period that to think back or looking too much in the future or forward, is missing the PRESENT.

People are different and I see that what means a lot to me, does not mean anything to another. And I respect that. So I would make it a point not to say "Keep in touch" anymore from this point on. If they call me, fine, if not, it is fine as well. And I hope they will accord me the same courtesy and rule. There.

I have kept in touch with people all through the years even with the ones going back to the very ones I had forged a relationship with since I was 4 years old, but sometimes we are all in different levels in our lives and careers that we take a glimpse of the past and smile, and we move on...and acquaintances and friends sometimes get forgotten in that process of moving on..

I kind of like that ..keeping in touch within the bounds of relevance to each other's life. And the rest is just clutter...and I hate clutter...don't you?