It will be better this year...

Last February 14th, was Chinese New Year Day. I love the idea that in once year I get to make 2 New Year's resolution one for each New Year that the world all-out celebrates. Wow!

I was thinking that for the regular January 1st 2010 New Year I would continue to work on a better and much improved ME, and I believe (if I may say so myself) I am making some good headway on that.

And for the Chinese New Year February 14th 2010, I have resolved that I will steer clear of people who still believe that rose colored glasses are better than a good bitter dose of reality.

I am referring to people who talk about how life in the USA is full of misery and agony and too much economic struggle. I mean the whole world is feeling the economic crunch - HELLO~!

And to those who think the US citizens are crap for trying to help HAITI by televising it - I mean c'mon - ever heard of massive telethon?

And to those who also say being in BsAs Argentina is 100% times better in the US, what bubble address are you staying at in Buenos Aires? There are crimes everywhere, but at least in the US, I can leave my purse not tied to the chair when I have to pick up my order at the restaurant - try doing that in Buenos Aires. People who write and rant about how lousy the US is - is bitter and negative. There I said it! Now sue me!

I believe that this year, once I have steered clear of any negative, untrue and just downers of a vibe giver I should have a better year.

Farming has really turned me around 360degrees. Things are not as do or die as before. Rain always brings hope that things might just grow again. The land is where everything begins and I like that.

My realm of reality is now more subdued, nothing fazes me anymore, I would like to think that there are people in the world who relies on me to help them provide food for their family and selfishly - that is what makes me - ME. It gives my daily work meaning and by golly - I like that feeling. So to all naysayers out there - bite this and then some!!

2010, there are better things to come, and I for one cannot wait to face each day. I am loving this.

It is the 14th of February 2010

I would like to think everyday is Valentine's day, the presents are never bad :-) but just the thought that lovers do not subscribe to the commercialism of this wonderful occasion. I am hoping that sweethearts would celebrate this day of hearts every single day.
It has been awhile since I last posted, things have been crazy lately..more like loony really! But things have settled down a bit and the only thing I am waiting for is my DMV license to come in the mail. Everything else is ready for my next trip to the other ends of the world. Work, lots of work up ahead for me - but I am revived and invigorated.
I am left not wanting anything for this trip. To resolve to oneself that life is good and that bad times too passes with a promise of better times - keeps me going strong.
R and I are in good terms again. We cannot keep a love like ours just die, it has a life of its own and too strong for even the two of us to fight. Distance has in good part helped us heal, and scars and scabs will be there forever but the pain has ebbed to a negligible degree. He and I are both at our happiest when we are both happy at the same time, and a very good relationship takes a lot of work. And this time, I am willing to make a concious effort not to be on the negative and try to live just for the moment - it is more meaningful and sweeter that way.
I am taking this one day at a time, and so far so good. I have been heartbroken and it is not fun, but healing is just a miraculous process that - when people tell you "what does not kill you makes you stronger" is true, and you can take my word for it.
Happy day of Hearts to everyone out there. There is no feeling like being in love. God knew what he was doing when he created this feeling of kindness and gentleness called - LOVE.
See ya another day. Take care.

When it rains, it pours!

Well, California is under a bad spell of rainy days and colder nights. It has been wet, and in my case, flooded. It is everywhere!

Forget wearing heels for the next several days for that matter, the water has inundated our parking garage. Ankle high water is no longer a phenomenom. I have had it on a daily basis since Saturday! Man!

When you think California, you picture sunny with clear skies, with a little and here and there cold nights since it is January. Forget that - it has been soaking wet and I have been soaked down to my ankle boots in water and my wook jacket is damp and hair - a mess!

But the rain brings the much needed water in Southern California.

Water is always good. Complaining about the so seldom bad weather is almost a sport here in San Diego. It happens so rare that when we get rain...oh yeah...it pours!

The plants need it so badly. I guess I do not care so much for rainy days because I have been spoilt with the very good California weather. Forgive me for crabbing.

Tomorrow more rain is in the forecast but guess what after the weekend...all will be sunny and bright. So there you have it...the rainbow will show up this Monday and I cannot wait to see it.

Here's to Monday's very good forecast. Bright and sunny and honestly who doesn't like that?

Tomorrow, I 'll see y'all.

Toodles.

..and then she shows up!

Wow! Let me just say I shouldn't be blogging when tired. But, hey, if you can't blog when you are tired, when can you blog?

After Oct 6 2009, here I am at last..finally...por fin...in the blog world once again. And let me start a series of blog by expressing my gratitude to those who were concerned about my long absence. Thank you for caring. The notes were mighty sweet. (blush).

I am fine and all is well. I just need a good dose of reality check away from months of heartbreak. There is nothing time cannot heal. Pain, I found out is manageable after sometime. We let go and we move on. Or as I was so kindly advised...let the chips fall where they may. And that is a very sound advise.

Today's blog will mostly be to express my sincere gratitude to a few/handful followers that I have and especially to those who sent nice notes of encouragement. From the deep cockles of my heart..thank you very much.

I miss blogging. I had to control myself each time I get the urge to blog/blab about how my life in the boonies have been going. But in the end I concluded that I will return to blogging only when I am stateside...for now.

I wish I made a note of the process of healing that I had gone through to get to this very healthy point of my life. I guess appoaching another milestone/bday in one'se life can give one serious moments of revelation and access what REALLY matters in my life. I have done that and have shed some tear, had a fed sleepless nights with bouts of anger and frustration but altogether I am better because of it.

I type here now, thinking of nothing else but how glad I am to be here in this very spot at this very moment. Life is short and it will be only good if you choose to make it good. No excuses.

It is soooo goood to be back!

Hugs to you all out there and follow me for the next few weeks as I share where and what I have been doing the last couple of months. It will be different and exciting.

See ya'll tomorrow then.

tada da da dan dan...where everybody knows MY name...

Yesterday, I was all around town doing errands. And it was just like any other ordinary California Monday, except as the day progressed, I felt alot lighter - happier even. Please allow me to share with you why.

When I am in the US, my frame of mind is different than if I were anywhere else. I have lived here more than half of my life and I see people around town that take the time to remember me and let us be honest about it - when people remember you by name or take the time to ask for your name - by golly it feels good!

Okay, I go to the bank and everyone I know asks me about my weekend. Cora said I looked very good parting my hair in the middle. At the post office - the person that helped me asked me to close my eyes because she liked the way I did my eyeshadow application. When I went to a grocery store, the cashier said - if I forgot to buy Snapple (she remembered the flavor I prefer), I told her I was there to get something else. I went to Target, the guy I buy my phone minutes from says he recognizes me from previous visits and can help me in the electronics department since there was a long line with the cashiers up front.

My makeup purveyor was asking me when I am leaving again for my next trip. My hairdresser knows almost everything there is to know about me and my hair. The cook at my new Mexican taco stand - Rolando - knows that when I buy something there - I like my order with just a little bit of sour cream and loads of guac, and never with extras I do not like on my rolled taquitos.

I have friends here who gets worried when I am in town and I do not call them to meet for coffee or lunch or visit their house or something. I like the feeling that I have people around me that know my name.

It feels good, it feels very, very good to have all these acquaintances and friends around me. My friend, Missy, gets reall worried when I do not spend time with her and the kiddies. Funny Missy.

I like being in California. Being here makes me feel good.

I can hear the the diddy go...tada da da dan dan...where everybody knows your name...

Things are looking up.

Great moments of our lives never return.

Sometimes we tend to just focus on what is not happening that we fail to see what we have actually accomplished and are capable of accomplishing.

John Lennon said - Life is what happens when we are busy making plans. How true that is. We over plan, we over think and we miss what our life has to offer. I miss that point sometimes and so it gives me great comfort when reality pokes me at time to remind me to get on with the living.

As I get older I tend to really forget all the great times that I had in the past, it happens to me subconsciously, for I do not make an effort to forget. I just simply... forget.

A testament to my not living in the past, I guess - which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you see or interpret it - but to me, it is a good thing. I resolve that since great moments in life never return, I just make new great moments today and then be really there at that very moment when it happens in the future.

I do not linger on what might have been anymore or where the blame lies and why things are happening they way they do around me - even if it saddens me. I have discovered that in my case bad memory is a blessing. I am not speaking about bad times in life -we all have those but what I am referring to are the good times as well. Good times in the past should remain there - untouch and untainted, and forgotten. They were great during that moment but it will never happen again. So why live there or why relive it? For what purpose?

We are here amongst the living to make memories for the living not for the past. It might sound cold to others but if you really think about it - it is today and now that matters; for it will pave for the good memories for tomorrow and if we ever forget - we still hold on not to the fading memories but the wonderful feeling that will surely last us a lifetime. That is what I am talking about.

Please note that I am not talking about history here - this is just plain personal memories we are talking about.

I have had some great memories in my past and I am for life grateful for them but I would like to make new happier great memories from this point forward.

A wise advise given to me goes like this - In life, beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it is what is in the middle that counts the most. I think in the middle of it all, we are given numerous and endless chances to create great memories with different people, places and time and we should do it over and over again - create new great memories, I mean.

The old great memories will never return and it is for the best I believe because then maybe if we keep reliving memories in the past we will stop making new opportunities for ourselves and for others to create new ones. For anything short of what has not happened yet - might not be good enough and so why even try - so in that sense we already failed.

Here's to new great memories!