As I write this post today, I am thinking, it sure feels very good to be in a better spiritual place when you do not think only of yourself. That everything and everyone is not here to serve and be of service to you, but rather you are there to be of service to those that are around you. Life takes on a bigger meaning when thought of like that.
As I am feeling this, I decided to write that after my May 1st post, I have come to declare that sometimes when one feels the pain and ache of a hurting hurt, the pain is a sign of healing. One's forgiveness of oneself is the toughest to achieve, we are tougher on ourselves than we are to whom we love. Healing is a process that is as different to everyone, as each person is. Every unresolved issue you have of yourself affects how you relate to others and directly affects every single relationship you might potentially have and might already be in. I have come to appreciate the pain that I had experienced. It taught me that hurting is a human experience and it showed me that I am not exempt from it, no matter how hard I try. That hurting is what makes human remember that as long as we revolve around other humans, intentional or not, we are vulnerable to hurt, in all and every level. I found that crying helps but one should not seek comfort in there; it is better to grab your boot straps, stand up and face what LIFE is dealing you. One is never too old to grow up and be taught a life lesson. It is a humbling experience and I am fortunate to have gone through. Not everyone is afforded this chance to grow up, but when one does, take the oppotunity to learn something new about yourself and about life. There are not life lessons learned in victory most life alterning lessons are learned during moments of defeat (but we should not make a habit of loosing!).
To accept everything bad and not so desirable things about me, is my first step towards healing. I cannot be a perfect person, nor I can ever aspire to be one, so I try to be the best that I can be. I have noticed how calmer I am, after the abyss that I fell into and eventually got myself out of, after my broken heart..I do not know how to explain it but my moment of clarity came when I least expected it - and I smile as I think that tomorrow will be another day and I should live everyday as it was meant to be - a PRESENT, appreciate it for each day is special and most especially - not over think it, Life I mean.
Good things and great presents come in very small packages, I sure have learned that, the hard way.
No regrets.
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