I too believe....Happiness is a Choice

I have been "recovering" these last week or so from an incident that had brought me deep sadness.

Allow me to give you an insight on why it is taking me longer to get over this particular incident - I believe I was misjudged. Not for what I had said but for what I was perceived to have meant with what was said. There lies the agony of where my heart hopes to hurdle and get past.

Things have been said and could never be taken back. Where scars used to be, now new wounds take their place.

Now it brings me to this post...I believe Happiness is a Choice. And I declare that I do not believe in happy endings, not anymore. I just work on having as many happy days as I can. I strive to surround myself with the love that is not there to measure or judge me for what is perceived to be my shortcomings bu judge me (if it really needs to be done) for what I really am, for what I really say and what I really mean with what I say.

Simple really yet very profound, Happiness is a choice.

And as much as I choose to be happy, sometimes I have to be part of other's unhappiness, unfortunately by association.

And sometimes, I too suffer because of other's unhappiness -misery loves company as they say.

But I keep telling my self, the choice is mine and I should not loose focus on that. And I take that choice. I want to be happy, simple happiness. No agony and no heartbreaking misjudgements. There is nothing worst than telling another person how short they came to one's expectation; or so I thought - until it happened to me, and there is indeed a worst part to that - is that for a short period of time I believed it. That deepened my sadness.

I will keep on working on just having happy and very good days. Happy endings are just what fairytales say at the end to nicely tie the story in a neat and pretty bow. In real life, dog eat dog. It is tough making it here and sometimes, I just have to take a very deep sigh, exhale and make the resolution that those who choose to be unhappy are people that are not for me. I choose to be happy.

I could not avoid being unhappy at times, but as a rule, I will not let unhappiness be the norm of me anymore.

The best thing about being single is, you have to take stock of yourself and do it on your own. No one is expecting anything from me. I need not excel for others, I have to excel only for me. If I can look at myself in the mirror every morning without shame, I know I am a decent person. Misjudged or not - my conscience is clean, I can live with that.

If other's expectation of me are not met, maybe they were not clear to me or to them from the very beginning. Cannot do anything about that.

To be misjudged is the most hurtful thing a sane person can undergo. It is agonizing to even attempt to explain oneself. Sometimes, we just close doors and pretend somethings never happened but deep down it is still there. i still hurts.

People grow distant and cold, and it is not because of no reason, there is a reason. We just have to know our part in it. And sometimes, we grow past it. Other times, we grow further apart because of it. No happy endings, like I said.

Just another happy day for me, and so far that has been enough to get me through. Tough but I'll live. Happiness is a choice.