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Whenever there is a beginning, there is an end. It is not what came before or how things ended but what happened in between that makes life exciting - do not change the heartaches for they are colors in your own painting called My Life. Let them be vivid and bright!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

As I view the past years in wonder and awe.

“Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart” …someone said this.
I am sure not a lot of you know who had said this and who he is does not really matter, the important thing is that what he said above is true..and no truer words have ever been spoken. Someone does come along in everyone's lifetime and earns a permanent place in our heart.
Friends are a plenty but a true friend is almost like soulmates. And those are the ones that are very hard to give up and if I can help it, I would rather have the friend and friendship for life. It hurts the most when you loose a soulmate because it is like dividing one spirit that happens to be occupying two bodies.
As I ponder my lot as I lay awake at night, the best years of my life was during these last few years. I am in awe and wonder every time I think about my numerous blessings and the love that I have shared with one very spectacular man. Mistakes and the ever quest for perfection I think doomed the relationship from the start. It was never easy again after San Diego. There was a "formula" then but it does not apply to today's circumstances. Changes you know, you fight to hold on and yet you fight to let go. Changes brings growth and hopefully, in my case, maturity. I try to live everyday with my imperfection and I do not wish everyone and everything to be perfect because I cannot will myself for the same. I can accept that now.
All I quest for is inner peace or peace of mind as others may call it, and I begin with looking into my heart and my heart tells me I have a very long way to go on this journey. I need to find my way again.
Life like Love is all about changes. Tomorrow brings me a new opportunity to grow again. My spirit was dampened but I am learning to fly again. I look up at the stars and I know they too are not permanent up there, they too change and nothing gets larger than a star, so must I.
Humility is an experience that I needed to learn, and I consider myself very fortunate to have learned and continue to learn this lesson. All I had been through these last few weeks have shown me that I am just a small speck in this universe and if I do my purpose in life well, I would have made a difference in my own small way - and to me that is a very great deal. So I wonder and remain in awe of how I find my self, my humility in the greatest wonder of all - love and life.
Looking back is never a bad thing- as long as you leave the past in the past and look forward to living today and see future as a by product of what I have accomplished today.
No matter what I do in the future, I promise I will always keep things real. A lesson I learned myself.

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Future Topic for Another Day

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