Postcards..an open letter for Claudio

I swore that when I was going to write this post I will not cry. I lied.
Thursday 11th of June, 2009
My Dearest Claudio,

1001 disculpas. I am writing this postcard to you to tell you that I love you.

Thank you for being yourself. I will not dwell so much on what you mean to me because I would like to keep that special by keeping that closest to my heart and no one can ever touch that spot for I think talking about it will diminish its unadulterated meaning.

Allow me instead to share in here what I have learned from you. Thank you for everything, and if I do not say it often, for all times it will be here. Just read and remember me fondly.

I have learned from you that there are no perfect endings, that even in death and wilted flowers are just but part of life. You showed me strength during worst times, weakness in tender moments of recollecting memories, resilience in getting up when the wind is knocked out from under you and making the most out of the cards life has dealt you. You have shown me that you are what you want your life to be. And that you always find joy in the very simple things - I wish to emulate that. I want to be just simple and true to myself, like you are. I admire your dedication to your friendships, if I am ever half of what you are to R as his friend, I would be happy.

In you I have come to understand that the world is round. A shape that has no beginning and no end. And that the endings are only in our minds and we limit them further by what we put in our hearts.

I will forever treasure the pictures that you have given me but most of all I have what I need etched in my memory to last me this lifetime.

I have the stone that you brought from your last fishing trip. I hold it on the palm of my hand and I see that though it is a triangle it has 3 rounded sides. It is domed on the top and with a flattened bottom. I clench my fist and it fits in there perfectly. My heart is said to be the size of my fist, maybe there is something to that. I see it as a symbol of strength and how the little glitters embedded in there from other minerals it has gathered from years of rolling on the riverbedd make the stone what it is. Each time I hold it, I will think of you. I promise you that I will keep it with me always. The day will come when I pick up that stone and I might forget who gave it to me and that would be a very sad day. But remember this, I hope never to forget who gave it to me, but I will never ever forget what a great feeling it has given me.

So for all my shortcomings I hope 1000 apologies in advance would be a good start and the 1 other apology is for the day that I might forget who gave me the stone. 1001 disculpas.

Claudio, now I get it, that happy endings cannot come in the middle of a story, and that even if I pray sometimes what I wish for do not turn out like I wish they would.

Let me leave you with this thought, for I could never explain fully what will be the ending to the story between R and myself but maybe this advise someone gave me would.

It goes something like this...In the end, we are all separate; no matter how similar, we come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarities but it is our differences we must learn to respect.

Claudio, you are such a very good person. I feel honored to have known you. You are R's friend and by association you have been so great to me. My life has been better because I have known you, what an honor!

I am sorry if knowing me brought a slight tug of pain in your heart.

I will always have my biggest hug saved for you.
Always,

La Diva