Problems and their solutions..

The best thing about any life problem is that they have solutions.

There are problems because there is a solution to them. The only caveat to it is that is that sometimes we do not like what the answer is, so we still think that is not the solution! We just have to learn to read the writings on the wall, so to speak.

Problems make us who we are now and they really make as stronger.

Take my case for instance, now I am not in a relationship "relationship" (make quotation mark motion in the air here, please) but I am in a very good friendship relationship with R. I think we are even in a much better state than we ever hoped to imagine we can be at this point in time. This is great. I cannot ask for more than what I have right now. I take it each day at a time, and then we wait and see.

I came to see R in BsAs to put a finality to what seems to be an inevitable phase to our strained relationship. The next step was clearly for the both of us to acknowledge and agree, that there was that needed personal and official ending or a new beginning to our relationship. The learning to let go was the hardest part for me and and to take that answer to heart. But like the innovators that we are R and I mutually stuck with what we know was strongest of all the emotions we felt, and that is friendship. That was too precious to brush to one side.

While I am in Buenos Aires until the very last day of putting my affairs and stuff here in order, I have promised myself that I will be the best non-girlfriend R will ever have. This has been working out very well for me and hopefully for him as well. I have taken all the selfish "me" expectations and placed no demands on myself and R. It is liberating.

What I have seen as a huge no-solution-to-this-problem problem had an answer after all. I had to go through the despair and pain to learn that I live the life I choose to have. I have the exact love life that I want. I make no excuses for myself and that what I have now is what I want. I will place no blame on anyone. And I speak the truth about my relationships and it feels very good. If I want to give happiness I have to try to be happy. I am not 100% happy or will I ever be, but happiness is not my goal anymore. To me happiness is seeing and hearing happiness in every day of living. I promised myself months ago that I will not contribute to my emotional reserve of sadness and pain, not anymore!! What I will be making daily deposits on are my accounts of joy, simplicity and love.

I chose to be part of the solution and attempt to provide answers rather than be part of the problem, which can be emotionally draining.

What I need and want are things that I will try to provide to myself. If I cannot give what I ask from others, I will not want it.
And lately, problems are just that - problems. Now if I have a problem, I will say - my problem does not own me! And that they placed there in front of me because I truly believe that I am strong and will surpass it.

For during my deepest hours of sadness, I have learned to tell myself - that this too shall pass.
When I care for someone, I care for them for life. When I am a friend, I am a friend for life. I might be remiss in alot of things for a long period of time, but that does not mean I do not think about that friend.

And most of the time, the solutions to problems if we can just take a moment to think calmly, close our eyes and open our hearts...we already know the answers all along.

In our hearts...we know...